LISTEN GIRL: YOU DESERVE MORE,LEAVE THAT 4-WALL RELATIONSHIP!

You may not like what I’m about to talk about, but oh well. I’m all about being honest, and this seems to be a problem, that some of us aren’t aware of.

Let me bring it to light for you.

We all know you can tell if a guy is serious about you, just from his approach. Because we don’t pay attention, we often overlook the red flags, that scream: He Only Wants SEX! It’s easy to miss this sign, because, maybe, you’ve been eyeing this man all evening, and is surprised that he even approached you. But we have to pay better attention.

Red flags, that you want to stay away from, can include anything, from him touching you inappropriately in the first five minutes of your conversation, to speaking sexually to you prematurely. It’s not funny, so do not laugh it off during your conversation. If you feel as though these aren’t red flags that need to be taken seriously, don’t be surprised when you all have sex, and he falls quiet. The signs are always in the beginning.

When he starts doing the little cute things, like sending you sweet “good morning” text messages, don’t lose focus! On the inside, you are going to be anxious to see him, so when he finally asks you, “How about you come over Friday night? I’ll order a pizza, and we can watch movies,” do NOT go! If you do, please realize that you have opened the door for this new relationship to become, what I call, a 4-Wall relationship.

A 4-Wall relationship is when a man dates you in the comfort of his home, and maybe yours too, if you allow it. No one really knows that you all are dating because all you do is sit around the house talking, and watching movies, which is better known as “chilling.” This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, but you both have become so comfortable with chilling that he hasn’t taken you on a real date.

When you talk to your friends about him, you realize that you’re missing out on the fun of dating. You notice that the only memories you have are at his house. Now, you’re conflicted, and don’t know what to do, because when you bring it to his attention, he doesn’t see anything wrong with you coming over, or him stopping by your place.

You want more. You deserve more. He should want to take you out on a real date.

Read: How To Clarify Your Relationship!

4-Wall relations happen all the time in college. Many college relationships start with 4-Wall relationships. Think about it. No one talks about it because it seems cool to go over a guy’s house, and just chill. However, as you get older, house dates are unacceptable. Although it does happen, there is a way to stop the routine of being in a 4-wall relationship.

First you must acknowledge that you are in, or have been victim to this type of relationship. This may be hard to admit when the man of your dreams, for the moment, is dating you in his house. Realize that you set the standards for the relationship, and that is why he still hasn’t taken you out for a real date.

Next, decide what you want from him. This is so important, I’ll probably say this in every post I write. You have to know what you want, so be honest with yourself. Do you want to be in a relationship? Or, are you just trying to have fun? You both need to be on the same page. You can’t be looking for a forever, and he’s still going to the strip clubs, screaming “F*ck B*tches! Get Money!”

Finally, you have to change your mindset. It’s not just about knowing your self-worth; it’s about knowing what you want out of a relationship and putting forth the correct effort. You can’t expect to be in the relationship of your dreams if you are still in the mindset of going over a man’s house at three in the morning to “chill.”

Break that routine! Let him know in the beginning that you are not comfortable with coming to his house, and you will meet him at your favorite restaurant.

Please do not think I have not made this mistake. I have been there, so do not think you are alone in this. just about every woman has found herself dating her “boo” in his house, and if you haven’t…keep living.

If you want a man to take you serious, do not allow him to date you in his home. If he can go out and spend twenty dollars on take-out to bring back to his house for you all to eat while watching movies; he can take you out to Applebee’s, Chili’s, or T.G.I. Friday’s, just to name a few, for their two for twenty dinner special.

Don’t agree? Tell me how you feel in the comments section below.

For advice on your relationships email: thetruth@baddiegirl.com