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2015: NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!

New Year’s Resolutions will be rolling in shortly–if they haven’t started already. Most people are already thinking about what 2015 will have in store for them, what they want to improve and what more they want to accomplish. Although everyday you learn something new, and should be improving and enhancing yourself daily, the New Year is like a clean slate to many.

So what can you do to enhance and improve yourself and love?

Just like loosing weight, and poor eating, bad relationships should be something you should cleanse yourself of too. A bad relationship doesn’t always have to be with the person you’re dating. Bad relationships can be at work, school, or with family. A bad relationship is a bad relationship and it can plague your health just like not exercising, or eating fast food everyday.

So when thinking of what your New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 will be, add something to improve you and your relationships with others. Try these:

I’m no longer chasing and begging people to love me who treat me like I’m worthless.

I won’t judge myself off of what other people do.

I won’t continue to take love from the wrong man or woman.

I will love me more. I will choose me first.

Write these down, and put them on your wall, or somewhere you can see them everyday.

My Year

Let 2015 be about letting those people who hurt you, and don’t grow you go. All of those people who you aren’t sure about, the people who don’t dream as big as you, the ones who keep you stuck, disrespect you, use you or are just taking up space in your life: LET THEM GO!

You have to make the decision to let go of the things that are stressing and hurting you.

2015 will be here really soon, so if the New Year is your clean slate get ready. Make everything you do count, and don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your vision of success.

What’s your New Year’s Resolution?

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BOOK REVIEW: A BLACK GIRL’S GUIDE TO DATING WHITE MEN

A Black Girl’s Guide to Dating White Men– Niki McElroy

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I have a strong interest in sociology and human relationships (interracial relationships in America in particular), and I came across this book while browsing at the library. Since it is thin, I figured I would be able to finish it rather quickly. Fortunately, it didn’t take more than 1.5 hours to work my way through this “gem.” And honestly, I would be upset if I had spent any more time studying this guide on How to Be A Foolish Black Woman  (ok, I might have taken some liberty with my rendition of the title).

But honestly, I think this book truly deserves a negative rating – it is horrendous. In addition to the stylistic and grammatical errors that run rampant, the actual content of the book is so stereotypical and prejudiced – it is hard not to call the book trash.

Truthfully, I don’t want to throw too much shade at Niki, but I was continually stunned by how ignorant the author sounds. While I commend her for encouraging black women to be more open to finding love outside of their race, the manner in which she does so is borderline appalling. She speaks about white men as if she is a hunter on safari looking for a white tiger, and she tries to rope the reader into her hunt by giving out tips and tricks for how to catch ‘em.

The cover display is two half-naked people feeling each other up and this pretty much sums up everything you need to know about this guide — it just is not to be taken seriously. After reading the first page, I honestly thought this was satire, but unfortunately, the author is beyond serious with her overplayed stereotypes of black and white people. She talks to black women as though they are all angry, culturally incompetent, and thirsty enough to use her tactics to find the all-revered white man. She speaks of white men as though they are all shy and intimidated when it comes to talking with black women and she has created three neat categories to place them into (the businessman, the jock, and the edgy guy/artist). The gross generalizations get old quickly.

I also took issue with the pictures she included. They were poor quality and of no relevance, whatsoever. I suppose she adds pictures of random white men and women who are supposed to be dating, because it is a guide and she does want readers to learn something from her book. So at the very least, you can walk away saying you know what a black woman and white man look like when they are sitting with each other.  The pictures are also interesting because she seems to flaunt these couples as people you should know, but when you look at them and read the captions, you realize very quickly that you definitely do not know any of these “super successful white men” and random black ladies. I mean seriously, these people are not even halfway relevant. I mean who is Leonardo Attolini? I have never heard of him. I googled him and still couldn’t find anything.) Not to mention the fact that some of the white guys she features look like men that rolled straight off the Jersey Shore – I’m reading this book thinking to myself, “Niki, you can keep that.” But I guess it’s none of my business if women want to be with Pauly D….

I am sure there is a certain audience that would benefit from reading this book. (Isn’t there always something for everyone?) The only potential positive I see is that maybe some women will be encouraged to open their minds and hearts to finding love outside their race.

I could give you a much shorter summary of this guide in one phrase, “Girl, Bye!” I’m not kidding.

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I sent excerpts to my boyfriend (who on a semi-related note is white), because I was literally tearing up from laughing so hard.

Here are some of the quotes I sent him along with my commentary:

  • “White men don’t typically cook for themselves and would rather go out while still enjoying a lovely dinner with a desirable ambiance.” (Yeah, all those white men I see at the local Chinese takeout…. They really enjoy the lovely dinner and desirable ambiance.)
  • “There are many different locations white men frequent. I find that they are creatures of habit, so if there is a place they enjoy, you can catch them there over and over again.” (She sounds like the Crocodile Hunter here….)
  •  “Or teach yourself to enjoy a little Coldplay, John Mayer, or James Blunt. It’s actually pretty good music and you may find yourself liking it better than this new wave of 21st century hip hop.” (Are we still on the whole black people music and white people music thing? This is just so so so played out. And James Blunt is terrible. But I did get that new Coldplay CD though!)
  •  “To not look ‘tacky’, unless it’s in combination with a more delectable dish, stay away from the California Roll. It’s very cliché for blacks to order the simple rolls, just as we do the sweet wines.” (I think Boo would be happier if I got simple rolls, it’d keep more dollars in his pocket! J)

There are a plethora of books that give the topic of interracial dating a much more thoughtful and enlightening treatment than this one. For starters, I recommend “Is Marriage for White People?” by Ralph Richard Banks and “Don’t Bring Home A White Boy” by Karyn Langhorne Folan.

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NOVEL NEWBIE? 4 MUST READ BOOKS!

Most people know me as a bookworm. I love a good book. Honestly, I have read it all, and I truly mean every genre you can think of, I have read a book from it.

I’m that friend who can’t read a book before the movie comes out. My friends hate when I read a book, and then the movie comes out, and the movie usually doesn’t meet my expectations. They’ve already told me that when Zane’s Addicted comes to theater’s, they won’t be going with me.

Baddie, GIrl, Basics, Reads, Read, Mary, Monroe, Noire, Terry, McMillian, Zane, Afterburn, God, Don't, Like, Ugly, Series, G-Spot, Amazon, Books, Waiting, To, Exhale, Club, Interesting, Novel, Summer,Even though my friends make jokes about me being a book junkie, they never hesitate to send their other friends my way, or ask for themselves when they are looking for a good read. So here are my top four books I tell everybody to read. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a summer read, or just something to read in between time. One of these books will be great for you and your reading needs.

God Don’t Like Ugly-Mary Monroe

This book is the start to an amazing six-part series. I first saw this book at my middle school’s book fair. I was in the seventh grade, and while most of the girls my age were eye-deep in Omar Tyree’s Fly Girl, I was eye-deep in the world-wind of a life for Annette Goode. The awesome thing about Mary Monroe’s writing style is that she paints pictures. As you began to read more into any book of hers you began to feel as if you know her characters. I promise if you start this book today, you will want to complete the entire six-part series.

G-Spot: An Urban Erotic Tale-Noire

This book will go down as one of the BEST urban books I have ever read. This is that book you read in a day, or that book that is such a page turner, you slow down while reading to make sure you aren’t missing anything. **DISCLAIMER** This book is not for the faint of heart. Juicy endured some horrific punishments. Not to mention this is still an erotica, so there are some graphic sex scenes. In short, this isn’t a book for your church’s book club, or any book club in my opinion. It’s just a good personal read.

Afterburn-Zane

Queen of erotica’s, Zane showed out with this book. I’ve read just about all of her books, and out of all of those that I have read, Afterburn is my favorite. She did no wrong with this book, even though things don’t end on a positively. Unlike any of her other books, Rayne and Yardley had a true love story. Zane’s writing makes you connect with Rayne on a moer personal level, and you instantly want to see her do well. So much for a tragic ending. This book is perfect for a book club.

Waiting To Exhale-Terry McMillian

We’ve all seen the movie and loved it, but how many of us actually read the book? I DID! They did a great job with making the movie’s character’s fit the story-book’s characters. Of course the movie omitted certain thins; therefor, making the book  more detailed. But as you read you can see each character unfold just as in the movie. TerryMcMillian writing style in this book is very sisterly. This too is a page turner, and you will instantly love all of those ladies more than you already do.

What I’m currently reading: Tempted by Trouble by Mr. Eric Jerome Dickey

If you have read any of these books comment below, and tell me which book you enjoyed reading the most!

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“Corset Diet” May Not Be Good For You

An outdated fashion accessory is making a big return!

Corsets are getting another chance in the spotlight. Why? Because of  its reputation of weight-loss, a trend some experts say is dangerous.

Known as the “corset diet,” and used by mostly women, this diet is for those who want to get their waists smaller, shaped and snatched.

How this diet works, is you start out wearing the corset for two to four hours a day. Each week you’re supposed to add 30 minutes until you’re able to wear the corset for about 10 to 12 hours a day. 10 to 12 hours is the max time you’re supposed to wear the corset.

Although you’re wearing the corset for long periods of time, you’re not supposed to wear the corset during exercise or sleep; however, there are corsets made for working out it.

Although it seems easy doctors warn against this method of dieting. They believe that the corsets only work because they act as a non-surgical gastric bypass sleeve.

A United Kingdom company,  TheCorsetDiet.com, says that this “gentle hugging feeling” will leave you feeling fuller longer, which will lead to eating less and eventually weight loss. However, if you put on the corset too tight, it could easily bruise your body and your internal organs too.

Long-term use of a corset can bruise internal organs, such as the liver, spleen and kidneys and can damage skin. Also with wearing the corset too tight, it can cause a lack of oxygen. Oxygen helps with your metabolism, which helps every organ of your body function. Results of wearing the corset might also contribute to metabolic syndrome, which can actually result in weight gain.

But with celebrities speaking out about doing the corset diet, I can see why people are so willing to try it.  Actress Jessica Alba said that said she wore a double corset “day and night” for three months after the birth of each of her two children. She said that the diet is “sweaty, but worth it.”

With any diet there are risks, so if you do decide to do the corset diet take it slow, and don’t wear the corset too tight.

Are you doing any waist training? How do you feel about the corset diet?

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