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ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER: DON’T BE CONTROLLED BY HIS WORDS

So, I’m sitting in Sunday School, one Sunday (long ago-okay not that long ago…okay it was long ago), and we’re discussing the power words have. My teacher began talking about how there is power in our words, and that we should speak life.

 

Many of us are told this, but how many of us actually believe there is power in our words, and actually speak positivity into our lives and the lives of others?

 

So of course twenty minutes in, my mind has wandered off, (sorry Jesus), into how powerful words are in relationships. I began to think how much power we, as women, put into a man’s words, and how we often give men power so willingly just by the words he speaks.

 

Ladies, we have to remember that although there is power in the words a man speaks, there is also power in the words that we speak.

 

We all know there are so many men, who will tell you any and everything you want to hear, just to get you were they want you. This is why actions are so important. So many times we pay attention to only what they say, and let their words take control, when we should also stay mindful of their actions because they are saying everything. For example, they aren’t calling as much, they are texting. They stop asking those caring and important questions like “how are you” or “did you have a good day?” But because they throw around a few “love you’s” we no longer look at their actions.

 

Men can speak really great game, and they know this. They know they can finesse, charm, and be the casanova they so anxiously want to be.

 

I always tell my girlfriends to know they’re man, decipher through the talk, and access effectively. I am a firm believer in men tell you everything in the beginning. Men love to “lay down the law,” think about it. If you pay attention and listen to him, you will learn a lot more about him than you think. Men talk just as much as women. So when you go out, talk less, and listen more.

 

When you do speak, think first. He doesn’t need to know everything on the first date, or the fifth date. Let things flow, and grow organically. But never be afraid to say what you want. This doesn’t mean put everything on the line on the first date, but you should know what you want, and not be afraid to have expectations. You can’t waste your time having two-hundred first dates in a year.

 

Dating is fun, but know what you want so that you don’t waste your time on unnecessary men, and possibly unnecessary heartbreak.

 Are your eyes and ears open?

Baddie, Baddie Girl, Brittney, Hood, Blogazine, Thought, A, Worth, Value, Love, fighting, for, relationships, happy, self love, confidence, girl, talk, dating, advice, romance, woman, man, human, sex, sunlight, hand, sunrise, life, happiness, field, male, female, people, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, 20s, mixed-race, multi-ethnic, asian, ethnic, caucasian, african, american, hispanic, black, away, sunshine, family, togetherness, lifestyle, young, old, mature, holding, romantic, beautiful, background, picture, perfect, silhouette, couple, kissing, adult, together, valentine, space, happy, blog, write, communicate, effective, person, friends, fun, retro, help, free, positive, group, teenage, friends, happy, hugging, couple, talking, holiday maker, travel, tour tourism, sunglasses, shades, hanging, out, style, fashion, clothes, teenage, lifestyle, girl, boy, young, woman, man, beatiful, smiling, people, person, concept, outdoors, student, together, friendship, cheerful, joyful, family, boyfriend, girlfriend, black, afro, african, american, international, multiracial, face

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FRIEND vs. FRIENEMIE: SHOULD YOU DO BUSINESS?

Doing business with friends is a topic that some stay away from. Some people are all for it, while others are totally against it. One thing is certain, before you do business with anyone, you have to know who you’re dealing with, and if true colors surface later, listen to Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are—Believe Them!

 

If you truly know who your friends are, there won’t be a problem if you do business with each other, and it could possibly enhance your friendship in a positive way. If you know that your personalities will clash with the vigorous scheduling and tight work schedule, then of course, doing business will not be the best thing to do, as there will be many late nights, and trust will be tested on a regular basis. Ground rules must be set, a plan of action needs to be put into place to work through the business plan, and you all must have the same vision and end goal in mind.

 

Working with friends, is about overcoming the difficult situations, and working through the uncomfortable moments that matter. As friends if one of you are unhappy with an outcome, you have to take time to sit down, and give each other the opportunity to both say how you feel, understand what each other are saying because both of your feelings are valid. Then begins the process of moving forward, and making conscious efforts to be effective still while meeting everyone’s desires. That’s how real women take charge-friends or not.

 

However, it seems that many women don’t know how to choose friends, or it could be that we as women put too much on the table in the beginning. Women gain “frenemies”, or in nicer words acquaintances, because they put too much trust in untrustworthy people, and untrustworthy people will turn on youWhen you make new “friends” you have to treat it like a real relationship, because in the end it will be. 

Working with friends

Start on page one and you move forward one page at a time. Don’t move to chapter eight, because you like what they’ve shown you in a few days. Take time and feel people out, especially those who you want to invest in. You don’t have to put your whole life story on the table, with who you know, and how you plan to be successful. Don’t give chapters one through thirteen over dinner one night in a short synopsis.

 

You should never be putting more out than the other person, unless you are the CEO. If this is an equal business endeavor, it should be an equal give and take process. You’re building not only a friendship, but you’re building a work relationship. Going through things, and seeing how people handle situations help you to determine if someone has good character and are worthy to be your friend. No more meeting and instantly you’re besties.

 

Be wise about who you tell your business to, and who you do business with. Doing business with friends can be a beautiful thing, if you both have an understanding of each other, and are both working towards the same goal. However, when you mistake frenemies for friends, that’s when ugly situations arise, and you’ll become vulnerable, because you’ve shared your all, and they will use your all against you.

Do you know who your friends, and freneimies are? Do you believe in doing business with friends?

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NO MORE MR. WRONG! HOW TO PREPARE FOR YOUR MR. RIGHT

It’s not about finding your Mr. Right, it’s about preparing yourself for your perfect mate. He will be your Mr. Right.

 

Where the good men at?” “I’m looking for my Mr. Right!” “Where is my Mr. Right?

 

I’ve heard it, you’ve heard it, your momma has heard, and I can promise you, your grandmother has heard it too! Finding a good man has been the topic in all the girl talks around the world, and is usually the start to some good girlfriend conversation. But enough! I’m here to help my Baddie Girl’s out with this, so that we can put an end to the epidemic of women who are constantly asking, “Where is my Mr. Right?”

First things first, stop looking for a “Mr. Right.” Your Mr. Right does exist, but it is not your job to look for him. He should find you. You aren’t a hunter trying to capture a lion! So take off your looking for a man sneakers, and put your heels back on.

When I say don’t look for Mr. Right, this doesn’t mean you just sit at home, and hope he pops up when you need to run for gas, or go grocery shopping. No. You want to go live your life. You know what you like to do, so do it! Get out and go to places, and events that you love. Go wine tasting, or try that ballroom class you’ve been putting off. It’ll be easier to attract a great guy, that thinks you’re beautiful, and the awesome thing is that you will already have something in common.

An important element in preparing for your Mr. Right is showing yourself respect. You must present yourself accordingly. You attract what you put out. When you leave the house, you should walk with confidence, and know that you are worthy of greatness. In doing this, your attire, and attitude should compliment each other. If you dress like a lady, and act as one, you will attract a gentleman; if you dress risque, and act out of order, you will attract a guy that more interested in your physical attributes.

On the contrary, what you don’t want to do, is go to places where couples flock. So that couple’s cooking class your girlfriend asked you to go to with her, don’t go, because you’ll feel like the odd woman out when everyone there is coupled up with their special lover, and you’re there with your best friend. You also shouldn’t call your girlfriends, and say, “Where the men at tonight?” I understand, not wanting to be around a bunch of women every time you go out, when you’re trying to meet some nice men in your area. In order to come across those men, you have to not look for them, or think hard about it, but go out and have fun!

The hardest part in preparing for your Mr. Right, is knowing how to respectfully reject those men who don’t fit your needs. This sounds harsh, but it’s real life. There’s no need to take a guy’s number, whom you don’t intend on texting or calling ever in life, or giving your number to a guy who you don’t want texting or calling you. Being led on, with nowhere to go, doesn’t feel good, and in the end someone always gets hurt. So don’t lead a man on to no man’s land. If you’re not interested in a guy who is clearly interested in you, don’t have him waste anymore time on you, to stroke your ego. Politely let him know that you are not interested. No need to block your blessing, or his.

It’s simple. The keys to preparing yourself for your Mr. Right is, to stop looking for him, and let him find you; live your life doing the things you love to do; know yourself, and what you like; present yourself with the respect you desire, and know how to say no to the guys you are not interested in.

Now get out, and do what you love!

Baddie, Girl, couple, people, beach, ocean, morning, coast, sea, love, marriage, man, woman, white, back, date, vacation, sand, summer, trip, happy, holding, hand, caucasian

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PAY ATTENTION! HE’S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

We have all been in those situations, when we really like a guy, and we hope that he likes us back just the same, but his actions prove otherwise. The sad part is that we know he isn’t worth our time, and that we shouldn’t waste our time because we know our worth, yet we try and be perfect hoping he will notice.

The simple fact of the matter is, if a guy can’t recognize the greatness of who you are through you being you, he doesn’t deserve you. Here are a few quick suggestions on how to determine if a man is not worth your time.

10. He has too much baggage

A couple of baby mommas, a side chick, and bad credit. Don’t do it to yourself! Let’s keep this one simple: Don’t add extra baggage to your life that you don’t need.

9. You only hear from him through text messages

If you keep up with Baddie Girl, then you already know how I feel about text messages. If a guy ONLY communicates with you through texts, he may only want sex, or you’re just occupying time until he meets the girl he really wants. Men go after what they want, so if he isn’t putting real effort into you, then don’t get too emotional, because…he ain’t worth your time.

8. He’s In A Different State

This is not me saying that long distant relationships don’t work; however, if you meet a guy who happens to live 2,000 miles away from you, and you all met online, don’t start planning the wedding. I thoroughly believe in the saying, “out of sight, out of mind” and after a while if you all have not seen each other in person, the spark dies out. He will forget about you, and you will forget about him, so don’t try and force it!

7. He Has Fallen Off

If he used to call you everyday, but now you barely hear from him…he has officially fallen off. I’ll leave it to your besties to tell you that maybe he’s working or that he may have just gotten busy. I’m here to give you the truth. Yea, he may be busy, but busy don’t last always. If he puts any type of space between you two, where there was previously no space, he has fallen off. The End.

6. You Don’t Trust Him

If your man has done something to break your trust, please take time to heal. You cannot have a real relationship with that man if you’re always wondering what he’s doing, and if he’s up to no good. You should only be consumed with the positives of your relationship. If the relationship is worth another chance leave the negative in the past, and work towards a better future with him.

5. He Openly Flirts With Other Women

Blatant disrespect is an absolute no-no, yet some women love to act as though they don’t see it. Him flirting with the waitress who is taking your order, is not okay. It is never okay for a man to disrespect you, and public disrespect is just rude. You first have to respect yourself, and know your worth. It makes it easier for you to find a man who will treat you like the queen you are.

4. You Constantly Have To Defend His Actions

This can also be known as making excuses for a man.  I can go on for years about this one, so I’m going to leave this one at: Don’t do it! because It should never happen.

3. You’re Giving A Yard–He’s Giving An Inch

Giving should be natural on both ends. Just as much as you want to give of yourself, he should want to give of himself. You should never feel as though you are giving too much of yourself in any relationship. So, if you’re giving, giving, and giving some more, while all he’s doing is taking away…he ain’t worth your time.

2. You Have To Beg For Time

Spending quality time should be something you both want to do. It doesn’t matter if you all go for a walk in the park, have a picnic or have an illustrious date night. If you ever have to ask when are you going to spend time with a man, or when will you get some of his time…he ain’t worth your time.

1. Your Gut Tells You…He Ain’t Worth Your Time

We as women have an intuition that we sometimes ignore. All your intuition is, is your soul speaking wisdom to you. We will be talking to a man who resembles most, if not all of these qualities listed above, and still invest time into him. Let’s do better, collectively.

These are just a few of my ways to tell if a man is not worth your time. You may agree or disagree. If you disagree, please let me know. And, although this post is catered to the man in your life, it can also go for friends, and for the fellas the same apply to us women.

What are some attributes of someone who is not worth your time?

For advice on your relationships email: thetruth@baddiegirl.com

Baddie, Baddie Girl, Brittney, Hood, Blogazine, Thought, A, Worth, Value, Love, fighting, for, relationships, happy, self love, confidence, girl, talk, dating, advice, romance, woman, man, human, sex, sunlight, hand, sunrise, life, happiness, field, male, female, people, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, 20s, mixed-race, multi-ethnic, asian, ethnic, caucasian, african, american, hispanic, black, away, sunshine, family, togetherness, lifestyle, young, old, mature, holding, romantic, beautiful, background, picture, perfect, silhouette, couple, kissing, adult, together, valentine, space, happy, blog, write, communicate, effective, person, friends, fun, retro, help, free, positive

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LOVING A LIAR

The worst part of being lied to is knowing that you were not worthy of the truth.

A hard truth like that hurts when you first read it, but you have to swallow it because it’s the truth. Everyone gets lied to, but remember that you have worth. You are worthy of true love, and within true love there are no lies, no worry, or broken hearts. Just two people who know and value each other’s worth.

Baddie, Baddie Girl, Brittney, Hood, Blogazine, Thought, A, Worth, Value, Love, fighting, for, relationships, happy, self love, confidence, girl, talk, dating, advice, romance, woman, man, human, sex, sunlight, hand, sunrise, life, happiness, field, male, female, people, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, 20s, mixed-race, multi-ethnic, asian, ethnic, caucasian, african, american, hispanic, black, away, sunshine, family, togetherness, lifestyle, young, old, mature, holding, romantic, beautiful, background, picture, perfect, silhouette, couple, kissing, adult, together, valentine, space, happy, blog, write, communicate, effective, person, friends, fun, retro, help, free, positive

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IT’S TIME TO “HONOR THY SELF!”

The beauty of women.

We’re nurtures, we over-protect, we love hard, and a lot of other things. I get it. I understand. I’m a woman. But when are we going to stop doing this for others, and do it for ourselves?

I’ve noticed with my girlfriends and myself that we will nurture everyone, especially a man, but ourselves. It is time we nurture ourselves, be overprotective of our hearts and love on ourselves real hard, rather than waiting for someone to love on us. This way, we can be our best selves for ourselves, and truly be ready to nurture someone else, whether it’s our girlfriends, our man, or a child.

Honor thy self!

This is when it is okay to be selfish; acceptable selfishness, if you will. It’s you and the world. Love on yourself! Take a moment out of your day, every day, and do something for you. This is when you find your peace. Do the things you like to do and exploit the things that makes you happy, and do those things in abundance.

Take yourself to brunch, go to a book fair, visit the local museum you’ve been meaning to go to. HONOR THY SELF! Put you over everything and everybody.

I call it M.O.Y., Me Over You. If this sounds offensive, then you aren’t putting enough time into yourself. M.O.Y. means, I love you, but I love me more. You should never feel sorry about thinking of you.

Whenever my girlfriends are in crazy love situations I always ask first, “How much do you love yourself?” The answer is usually “a lot.” I usually rebuttal back with, “well, it sounds like you love him more than you love yourself, because you’re allowing him to hurt you.” That’s when the re-evaluation, with a different mindset, begins.

Read: How To Get Out Of Your Mess With A New Mindset

Men think this way all the time! Think about it.

When you really love you, and think with a M.O.Y. attitude, you evaluate situations differently. When you start putting yourself first, you react in a way that is positive for you. You have to do what’s best for you. Everybody is not going to react to situations the way you’d like, so it’s okay for you to stop, think about you, and then react, even if it means they aren’t happy with your decision.

Be protective of who you open up to, be careful of who you open your heart to, and nurture those who nurture you. Remember M.O.Y.: Me Over You-I love you, but I love me more.

For advice on your relationship, email: thetruth@baddiegirl.com

Honor, Thy, Self, Baddie, Baddie Girl, Blogazine, Brittney Hood

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YOU’RE WORTH THE FIGHT

Ever notice how we often fight for the one’s who are our ultimate downfall, rather than the one’s who are team you, and want to uplift and inspire.

In relationships especially the romantic ones, we, as women, will fight for a man to stay, even when it’s apparent that his season in our life is over. I’ve learned that although it may be hard, if a man walks out of your life, the only reason you should stop him, is because you want to open the door for him to walk out of.

No need to ask questions, or try to talk it out with him. If he has made up in his mind that you are not worth fighting for, and wants to leave, let him leave. No need to fight for someone who isn’t fighting for you.

Easier said than done. I know. I’ve been there.

But what’s worse, fighting for a man who doesn’t fully respect who you are and the role you thought you played in his life, or letting him go? 

So just in case no one has told you, or maybe you haven’t been told in while, know that you are special, and are worth fighting for. You deserve someone who gives you the respect of trying to work out the kinks in your relationship rather than walking out on you just because times got tough.

Do not ever fight for someone to stay if hey would not do it in return for you.

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HE CHEATED, DO I NEED A PLAN B?

 

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I was asked to give my opinion and some advice on a young lady’s situation.

She feels as though she needs a plan b, because her boyfriend cheated on her.

So, why pack your bags and not leave? That’s what having a plan b is doing. You have one foot in your mess, and another foot trying to walk away.

Read: How To Get Out Of Your Mess

I don’t think you need a Plan B in your relationship, if you feel as though the relationship is not going to work, leave. It’s that simple.

Watch the video above to see my full response.

Do you have a Plan B? Do you think you need a Plan B in your relationship?

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