I hear women complaining about where they stand with “their” man too often. I never knew this was such a big issue until I saw women complaining about not knowing where they stood with “their” man through social media. They even go so far as to threaten to leave a man they don’t know is there’s or not.
I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it, and some of us have been there.
The statuses are usually four paragraphs long, and she is going in, letting everyone know there is trouble in paradise. She says little stuff like this:
“Imma do me since he don’t know what he wants.“
“All I want is a man that’s upfront with me, let me know what we doing!“
“Soooo…he think it’s okay to talk to other girls? I’m done!“
The funny part is they know they aren’t leaving their situation, it’s just all in the name of wanting some attention. The solution is so simple, communication.
In my mind, I’m thinking, the relationship won’t work anyway, because she doesn’t know how to communicate with him, and in some situations, he doesn’t know how to communicate either. Plus, if anything goes wrong, she’s going to put everything out there on social media. Who wants to deal with that?
You should never get to the point where you are tired of being unsure of where you stand in your relationship. So tired that you take to social media to be your friend you vent to. Call your girlfriends, write in a journal, do something that gives you that freedom to scream, cuss and cry, and not have the World know about it.
If you’re at this point, it’s time to stand up for yourself.
You love you, right?
Be clear. Ask questions.
You should know if you are his girlfriend, sex buddy, familiar, just friends, or dating. Whichever you are you should be okay with that. Do not ever make assumptions on where you stand with a man. That leads to disappointment. It is not you and him against the world, if he has not told you that. The saddest part is that most of us don’t know what we want from a man. What are you expecting him to do for you, when you don’t know what you’re expecting him to do for you?
You have to be honest with yourself before you can get clarity from him. Know your wants and your needs. Ask yourself, can this man provide me with my expectations? If he fits the role of provider, that’s when it’s time you ask him about your relationship and where it’s headed. However, if you know in your heart he is not what you need, let it go. Don’t look back. Go be great, with someone else.
You can not trust a man to make the first move on everything. Sometimes you have to step up and take action. Just don’t have an attitude. Asking a man where you stand can be a touchy conversation. Allow yourself time to get mentally prepared for his response. Anything can come out of his mouth. He may ask you, where does he stand with you. You have to be ready to answer that question. So be ready.
What you don’t want is an open-ended, still up in the air, you ain’t got no closure about the situation, answer. If he can’t answer your question, chances are you’re the side-chick, or you’re just not that important to him. Either way, you need to pack your things, and move on. If he has any respect for you, he should be able to provide you with a clear answer. Do not stay in a situation that does not completely satisfy you. You do not want to miss out on the possibility of meeting your Mr. Right.
If you do get the, open-ended, still up in the air, you ain’t got no closure about the situation, answer, it is perfectly fine to let him know what you all are doing. Let him know that you’re just dating, or are sex buddies or you don’t want anything more from him than friendship, or that you all are exclusive. But, then ask yourself, “Is this the type of relationship I want to be in?” Do you want to take the lead in the relationship, or do you want a man who knows what he wants, and can communicate that to you?
Blurred lines are not pretty. Everyone deserves clarity, and if you are struggling to get it: That’s your clarity!
Do not be blind to his actions. A man may not always tell you how he feels about you, but he will always show you. Pay attention. Know your worth, and know when it’s time to move on. You can do it girl!
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